full image - Repost: I (30M) lied to my partner (30F) (from Reddit.com, I (30M) lied to my partner (30F))
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I lied to my partner of 11 months regarding an investment I made during the start of our relationship. We both promised early on no matter the truth we wouldn’t lie, we also made the Commitment that whatever happens no-one would walk away, we would try and work through anything. We knew early on this is it, we’ve found our person and I cannot believe I was this bloody stupid. Fast forward to 2 weeks ago, the investment I made turned out to be some shitty scheme that paid off initially then got you to invest more, however on top of that my personal accounts were comprised & I had some money stolen. So this is all sitting with the police and courts, I was honest with my partner about the account hack but not the investment. Because I lied (which I did because I was childish and a coward) I thought she’d leave me after finding out I lost most of my savings & that was the money we were going to use for our wedding, house etc.So about a week ago I come clean, she chucks me out of the house, saying she needs time to process, she tells me the wedding is cancelled & I need to contact all the wedding people etc. Her parents are quite involved in her life & within 15 minutes of this happening, my camera pings and the parents are there packing my stuff up.She claims she is processing & to do this she wants to everything of mine gone, she states if I’m to get a second chance we will be starting fresh, she’ll have control of the bank accounts, I’ll be getting an allowance etc. She isn’t wearing the ring or the jewellery I’ve purchased her, I’ve been around twice to the house since this happened to drop stuff off have utilities disconnected. She wanted to keep our joint accounts opened and not close them.I asked what her plans are with the ring and she said she hopes one day to wear it again (as in I put it back on her finger)I also went there and she demanded I opened my mail in front of her to show I’m not hiding anything. She explains to me that she is processing the fact she doesn’t want to accept me back then in a year lie to her again or make a shitty investment and lose the house(the first part of her statement I can understand, the second part not so much as when I did the investment it wasn’t our money, it was mine not ours yet and I’d never investment something shared, without express permission and conversation, I’ve told her this also) Then on Friday I log into the bank account and notice all my personal accounts are there but our joint accounts are being closed.So I send her a text saying what’s going on her response is “mum and dad asked me to close the accounts because of the fraud investigation on your accounts they are distressed that something will happen to my accounts, we can open them up again once your fraud stuff is sorted” I’ve asked what we are to each other because all over social media she still has the profile picture of us at our engagement etc. she’s been able to just switch off, not contact me etc, go completely cold turkey. So I’m very confused on if I have a partner at all or if I’m single and should be focusing on moving on (not dating but taking time for myself moving on) but let me be clear I don’t want move on, i want to marry and have a life with my partner. So my questions are: Is it over? & she just cannot say the words yet?Am I okay to feel a little bit like, how do you start fresh from engaged, how do you date someone you’ve shared a home with and completely start fresh? Am I okay to feel a little bit upset by the demanding mail to be opened in front of her? Am I okay to feel heartbroken by how quickly this all occurred and how she was able to just chuck me out of the house? When we speak she seems happy? Is this just an act? Because I know her and this has shocked me that she seems happy? Do I just go cold turkey now and wait for her to reach out to me? I want her to process, but I also know she works a lot and will focus on work and 5 months down the line we will be in this same position? Also how do you just simply go cold turkey when you’ve shared a life with someone for x amount of time, I cannot understand this, at a time like this I thought communication would be key to sorting this out.Thank you for reading!
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