full image - Repost: I fucked up today by hurting my boyfriend and i don't know what to do. (from Reddit.com, I fucked up today by hurting my boyfriend and i don't know what to do.)
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So, today I seriously fucked up but let me tell you all what happened before this.I am not known as a violent person. I actively try to help people, give them comfort, or just be there and shoot the shit. I especially do this with my boyfriend. He's gone through a lot in his life, so much so that I actually dial down my strength whenever i hold him so that I don't scare him.But, this week has been different. Over the course of this week I've not been myself. I've been angry and frustrated and taking it out on him. I've been stressed about my shitty homelife and my nana who'd just had a stroke. It's not an excuse for the behavior, but, it was the main cause of it.Over the course of today, I've been fucking up left and right and at study hall was when it happened. I was holding his hand as he made a joke that made me feel bad. I should've just communicated that to him. But instead i behaved like a fool and squeezed his hand way too hard.He says he's not breaking up with me and is giving me another chance, but do I honestly deserve another chance? No one deserves to be hit. Ever. I defied my moral code and swore to be better...but now I'm not only scared that he's afraid of me, but that I'm afraid of myself.What should I do?
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