full image - Repost: The big C can always sneak up on you. (from Reddit.com, The big C can always sneak up on you.)
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So I am doing the work sharing some of my insights with this community which is a blessing in disguise. It’s been a long road to where I am now. Let’s just say when I started to embark on this quest for self in the beginning it was like a crack addict trying to kick crack. I am more mindful now and I listen to my body and instincts. But that doesn’t mean my patterns are solved. Just recently I broke up with someone I was dating to make a long story bearable there were just too many red flags. The two that stood out was her neediness and addictive behavior with food. Both that are no bueno for a recovering codependent. So I stood my ground and I ended it and I felt good about my decision I knew it was the right thing to do, I even told her we should reduce communication. She didn’t accept it at first but then got the hint. All of sudden I’m out having a good time and I received a notification that she was celebrating her birthday on social media and man the big C had me gong like I was feeling guilty that I left her. I started fantasizing about what if we can make it work. It was like I was trying to defy logic knowing this person is not my person. Now I’m yearning for her to call me knowing it’s not what I need. I thought I share because I’m not perfect. It’s a fight every day to stay center the big C is always there. Love to hear your thoughts and ideas of how to get regulated back to self.
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